How do you write when there are currents flowing within you that completely overpower your senses? People, places, horns, beggars banging at my door, holding my best friends hand for one last time yet again… it's the feeling of being empty, yet so completely bombarded with life, with all it's smells and sounds. It's walking all the way back home without thinking of a single thing about my own life. Thoughts tinkering in my head for a while and then just leaving me, letting me just be. Disgruntled faces staring at me, waiting for their buses, staring onto the road, scanning me, judging me… rushing to fit me into a little box with a nice little label on it…
How do people make the decisions they take? Do people really care when they say they do? Can you really take the liberty of taking decisions that are completely selfish? Are we so important to ourselves that forget about thinking twice, we don’t think at all before blatantly hurting the people we love. To what heights of conceitedness are we ready to fall to, before we hold ourselves responsible for the damage we’re directly responsible for?
And so I stand in the midst of all this chaos, watching loved ones bleed as the dagger is pushed deeper and deeper in… dry eyed, weary people meet my gaze and size me up… standing on the pavement waiting for my insides to hurled out, or perhaps to simply pass out. Listening to bright-eyed girls describe their ideal match, or simply prattling on endlessly...
Spent my better years in trying to undone the pain that I never did cause myself… and yet when I see the same old phantom looming back into my life, I’m left standing watching it come and wrench out the heart of my loved ones. And so I run, for I cant watch the world destroying itself, little by little…
It's about being still, about feeling each of the beggars pleas, about listening intently to each of the songs of the little birds, about chasing after a peacock only to have it's magnificence in view for a while longer. It's about knowing just how much you are loved, walking endlessly, watching people wither away like the tress in the month of January, holding your best friend’s hand for one last time yet again… wondering why the world doesn’t stop spinning and just rest for a while.
11 comments:
torn up........ why gulli, dont be. there r many beautifull things in life to look out for.
if u wanna talk abt something u can always call Mr. Suri i hope u know that, if u dont then i'am telling u.
"And so I stand in the midst of all this chaos, watching loved ones bleed as the dagger is pushed deeper and deeper in…"
Most of the times its one's inability to control his or her rational thinking......which inturn makes him/her more indifferent and selfish towards other people.
what can possibly be said that will make anything feel better?
thanxx for sharing with us Gul.
i hope you feel better.
hm.. better for sure, but only because the escapist in me is choosing to ignore the situation for a while...
sometimes, that is the best way to go. for the short-term
Well being an escapist sometimes is better to let go than to try and think of everything that's wrong with the world. Besides its not like you can fix everything anyway, so you might as well do your part and let the world be.....
'escaping' sometimes works.. as you step back and can clear you head and your thoughts, from a different perspective.
we, your fellow bloggers, are mostly strangers to you, maybe that's why sharing is easier sometimes :-) take care, and be strong.
well who tells you to think so much buddy
do you wanna drive urself nuts at this age in ur life
or infact at any point of time
u know what all u shud think is of ur job at hand
have fun when with frndz
don't think just becoz u r doin nothing
coz then u will realise things that will make u feel sick about living in this world
i have been thru this so i tell
people have lost their ability to hear their consciousness
humanity has lost its way
just let it be
listen to some hip and happening music when not doing anything
and hey why do u want the world to rest
well thats impossible
can u stop ur brain from working???
this whole world works on the combination of many peoples brains
u take everything positively
stomp the moron on her face whosoever hurts you
watch a movie called 'amelie'
just about a gurl who thinks a lot but dosent feel heart torn like you
hey never let anything effect ur heart
coz it is the essence of life
u can live without ur limbs, or as a blind person , or deaf , or any disability but u can not livee when ur heart is not workin properly
so b selfosh for the last time and take some warmth out of some relationship and join ur split heart
and never think thing that you think are relevant in your life bcoz they are simply not.
so live ur life like a candle in the wind.............
"scanning me, judging me… rushing to fit me into a little box with a nice little label on it…"
well said Gul..and so true.
cheer up and take care, hope ur doing well.
:) n what would i do without the adivce of all u fellow bloggers! thanks y'all for ur words n all d concern -- haven't gotten gloomy again abt that shit ever since, so dont worry, gul's back on track :)
paddy - ive seen amelie, n absolutely loved it as well :)
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