There isn’t much respite for people who refuse to sleep when the clock sternly points out to you to well hit the sack. And much worse is when you’re up at 2 deciding to say hi to some ol chap you used to know once upon a time over the net. Especially if the topic goes to how much fun he’s having in New York and goes on to diagnose my lack of being in a relationship or the presence of pals who prefer going to parties as stags, by the reluctance of Indian girls to shown a lil skin. To be more precise we don’t know how to dress up, the Europeans n the Americans r well just so much more happening. I'm not sure why I was talking to such a prick in the first place. But I remembered him to be a pretty decent chap, once upon a time. *Sigh* Assumptions… we always end up cursing that one word don’t we? Well there wasn’t really much to say, I'm the last person to pick arguments with people, plus well I really didn’t care to explain anything to him. He was ofcourse quite happy in the judgement he pronounced, announced me to be obviously ruffled by his comments…I simply wondered upon how people develop such lack of respect for anything vaguely smelling of India.

Time and again, the same enchanted eyes meet mine and tell me stories of how beautiful everything is once they step out of India. I stepped out too but was glad to get back home. Home…gimme any part of India n I love it with every breath in my body. Not like I have something against other countries, my sister tells me I will fall in love with Europe once I go there, no doubt about that. Sure there are plenty of chances that I most probably will, but nothing could ever make me hold my nose up at the land I've grown up in. US was cool, frankly I'd found the people as cold as the wind that unceasingly blows upon your face there. People are trained to be polite and hence they are, but the look in their eyes….

My friend told me my diary had reminded him of Bridget Jones diary. I mocked at that ofcourse- for one I'm way thinner than her n two c’mon there isn’t a thing common in her life n mine. Or maybe I don’t remember the movie well enough. It's still bugging me that that guy on the net presumed I'm this shyte looking gal who needs the advice to go out and have fun. Well I suppose my lack of a social life (I'm saying that inspite of havin a lotta friends) does indicate that. There are questions in my head, and well no I'm not sad or particularly bugged, I'm just sitting and picking threads of my life and wondering how the present patterns ended up there. Almost like at times I wonder how or why exactly I'm here at all in the first place. I'm one of those romantics who paint their pictures with utopian dreams in their eyes. Trouble is when confronted with the way things are I'm left absolutely clueless about how to go about them. And I'm confusing everything up, muddling everything up… all I want is the clear bonnie blue sky, and nothing inbetween.

New year resolution – break free.