I wonder why civilised people must be as crass and bawdy as a bunch of drunken monkeys! Na, lets not insult monkeys now. There are some levels of baseness that only humans can achieve. So what brings about my wrath against these uncouth individuals? A stupid little incident where as my friends n I made our way through the crowd of students in our institute and as my friend who led the bunch of us apologized as she made her way through, one of the students replied to her ‘Excuse me’ with a ‘squeezzed!’. My did we all get mad, while the insolent boy had the nerve to try and tell us that we were only a year or so senior to him and hence we ought to take his brazen attitude without a single protest! Arse. Yeah well, I’m not sure what my pal intends to do his with his name she demanded out of him, I just got pissed with the idea that uncouth rogues like those were coming into my institute. Hope its possible to make a gentleman out of such idiotic boys as well. Most probably, he will probably leave the institute in two years time and similarly harass his lady colleagues. Stupid chauvinistic men who just cannot swallow the fact that their jobs are being taken in by little girls with lot more brains and attitude than the cheeky doofuses can ever dream of.

Just needed to rant a little. Back to work now.

I’m listening to a tamil song…don’t have a clue about what it means :) aye long back when I used to live down south I’d spent an evening in a net café doing some work, and the entire evening the net café owner repeatedly kept playing one single track… kannathil muttha mittal – I know that’s the wrong spelling for sure! It's a very catchy track, or maybe after listening to it 25 times it kinda tends to linger in your memory… :-D A couple of days ago I decided to search for it on the net, landed up downloading a lot of other tamil songs from the same movie until I finally got my hands on the song. Aye, it's nice.

It's Friday….27th may, the day I've been waiting for since last 2 months. The day I write the last of my exams… last, feels so good to say that! It's going to take a while to sink in, that I finally can stop mugging and studying through the nights, and above all, I can stop worrying! It still doesn’t feel real!! Please lord don’t let me flunk in any of the exams, I so won’t be able to bear looking through any of those texts ever again! So much for education.

My net’s bust :( . Hope I get to post my random ramblings without too much delay….

It has been a very long silence. I have been aching to blog again, but time just has not been on amiable terms with me since quite a while. No matter how long I get to sleep, it just never seems to be enough. I think the enormous amounts of experiences have been leaving me a tad bit drained. That’s not to say they were not pleasant, well apart for the seemingly endless exams, almost all were exceptionally interesting. I give a big thumb up to my job; I think I’m going to immensely enjoy it. Though I have to say, I still have some qualms whether I will be able to eventually fit into the garments of a writer. Time alone will tell I guess.

People in India beware- the Gul has been unleashed into the already maddening Indian roads! Boy you should see the ‘L’ sign at the back of my car, it's huggge! Well since life must run at the pace it does I figured I need to get myself a pair of wheels! (or 2 of them as in this case!). My ma got a little worried about her baby driving on the roads, and so like a good mama took the job of putting the ‘L” at the front and back of my car, to let the world know not to honk too loud, or coldly size her up while glaring from within their cars. Now I’m glad she did that, except that she’s gone a bit overboard with it, and the biggest L that ever adorned a car now sits pretty at the back of my car (the one at the front was already put up by the time she came in to help!)

Life leaves me bewildered and baffled even more now days. I feel so spaced out, terrible timing though, as now is when I'm being sized up at work as the new chick at office and need to be on my tippy toes. One more exam this Friday, after that, the Gul will be reborn. Until then, I write, I ‘network’, I smile and walk in my new pair of heels I think I’ve wasted thousand bucks on.

Shiny little danglers appear as I blink my sleepy eyes. Furling up… disappearing into nowhere… I feel light, slightly woozy… blinking my eyes, real, unreal, it all gets bewildering at times. Frankly wonder why it's so important to keep it real at all. Lying in anther dimension of reality, I can hear the soft sound of my wind chimes. Met a nun in my dream, peaceful, old, beautiful. I remember asking her about how Sister Basil was doing. Sister Basil is a wonderful nun who used to live in the convent attached with my school. I didn’t know her much, but simply adored her. There was a light around her, the type that makes you feel good being around, leading you to quite simply just liking her very much, even if you don’t end spending much time with her. The nun I met in my dreams told me that something terrible had happened to Sister Basil.

Early morning dreams. I’m getting a little superstitious about them. I sms’ed my friend in Chennai about my dream hoping she’d have some news of sister. And there came the reply, sister was suffering from Cancer.

No doubt, felt terrible that sister was going through such an ordeal. There are some people who one feels should never have to suffer, simply because of all the love they’ve achieved in spreading. Can’t really say anything more, but ask God to take care of her. If there is a God. There is right? Dunno. Maybe. Most probably not. Not really much to debate on considering either of the stands are basically based on personal opinions. On this topic, I prefer to have none.

More exams coming up, joined work as well. Been juggling a lot of balls for quite a while now. A little tired frankly, but then this is no time to get tired I guess. Aye, this is afterall, just the beginning.

So there are mountains to climb afterall.
All I can do is believe.
Starry eyed
Feeling your arms around
Knowing no harm could possibly come
While I lay protected within.

And I'm listening to music. It doesn’t allow me to continue with a verse of my own. Goo goo dolls-
And I don’t want the world to see me
Cos I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Aye, and then again you do know. And I'm lucky to have you in my life. To look upto you and peer into those kind eyes, knowing there’s no monster hiding behind who’ll ever break my spirit. For the simply reason that you’re a part of the same spirit. Just kills me to know that it's not going to be an easy road we’ve begun our journey upon. Life’s silly. People are silly. There are stupid hang-ups that these elders must have and well make so many beautiful things in life simply so screwed up. And that doesn’t make us love them any less now does it.

Why can’t life be simply about music, chocolates, love, rain, friends, love, lavender, blue, pink, little girls and boys, love, swings, fields, eagles, love, moon, hugs, kisses, love. Why cannot life simply be? The music continues, a little out of tune, nevertheless, plays on.

Sew it back once more,
And watch it beat, as it rests in your palms.
Look beneath the sham of her fragile boldness
Undress her
Free her
And let your soul entwine with hers.
Hold her hand and take the leap!
Falling upwards,
Into the blazing light of a rising sun.

Tuning into an unknown frequency,
Chords never struck before,
Beguile us into a realm unchartered.
Moist eyes, yours and mine.
Blaring horns, condescending cold glares size us up,
Arching eyebrows,
Open Secrets never to be told,
Forgiveness never to be sought,
Our soul leading us on.
Shame, we refuse to do penance for
For laws we believe, conflict with that of the world.
Moist eyes, arching eyebrows
Our soul, for which we refuse to do penance for.